We went back to that questionable hotel for the night and after we ate, my body officially clocked out. Day 1 in Cebu was basically a full season of Survivor: Water Activities Edition, and I was running on fumes, saltwater, and pure stubbornness.
The next morning we woke up and shuffled into the bathroom… and immediately got introduced to our new roommate:
The Shower Bucket.
Not a cute little bucket either. This bucket looked like it had been through wars. Like it had stories. Like it was old enough to have its own passport stamps. We did what we had to do though—because at this point, comfort was not invited on this trip. 💀
Then we climbed back into the van and got hit with a smell so aggressive it felt personal.
You know that smell when wet clothes don’t dry and get shoved into a corner to marinate? Yeah. The van smelled like damp regret. Like someone microwaved a sock and said, “Let’s trap four humans in here for hours.” That van didn’t just smell bad… it smelled like it had given up on life.
Cuartel Ruins
First stop: Cuartel Ruins / Heritage Park / Quartel Beach. We walked around, took in the views, and tried to breathe through our mouths. We also stopped at San Roque Church, which was beautiful and peaceful… a stark contrast to the fact that our van smelled like it was haunted by mildew.
Cuartel Heritage Park
We were supposed to go to Osmeña Peak, but it started raining and the tour guide basically said, “You won’t see anything.” Cebu really said, Not today, hikers. So we pivoted.
Next we traveled to Boljoon, which is known for its historic church and that old-world Cebu vibe—stone, sea air, and the kind of architecture that makes you feel like you accidentally time-traveled. It’s one of those places where you walk around quietly because it feels like history is watching you back.
Eli Rock View Deck
Overlooking Boljoon
Then we climbed up Eli Rock and got rewarded with a panoramic view that made everything feel worth it—coastline, ocean, and that “wow” moment where you forget you’re still wearing yesterday’s outfit and possibly still have river water in your ears.
And then… back into the van.
Back into the stinky curse mobile.
At this point, we weren’t even reacting anymore. We had accepted the smell as a fifth member of the group. It had a personality. It had presence. It had dominance.
Before heading back north to Cebu City, we stopped at Simala Shrine in Sibonga—and I’m not exaggerating when I say it was the most beautiful church I’ve ever seen. It felt like a castle. Like a place built for pilgrimages, prayers, miracles, and people who still have energy. We walked around, listened to the bells, and for a moment… my nervous system unclenched.
Simala Shrine
Then we finally made it back to our hotel in Cebu City.
And this is where the comedy peaked.
Remember the wet clothes from all the water activities the day before? The ones we never got to wash because we were basically living out of a backpack?
Yeah… I had stuffed all of them into my duffel bag like a crime scene.
So we arrive at this 5-star hotel—like fancy lobby, shiny floors, the whole “welcome, ma’am” vibe—and there’s a security checkpoint. They ask me to open my bag.
I unzip it.
And when I tell you the guard got ONE whiff and immediately waved us in like:
“Yup. You’re good. Please go. Please. Go.” 😭😭😭
He didn’t check anything else. That smell was the security clearance.
So there we are… in a luxury hotel… doing laundry in the bathroom like we’re on a budget travel show.
I’m washing clothes in the shower.
Suyapa is rinsing and wringing them out in the sink.
We’re hanging things wherever we can—towel racks, hangers, hopes, dreams.
We didn’t even get to enjoy the hotel amenities because after the Bathroom Laundry Olympics, we were DONE. Lights out. No pool. No spa. No “let’s enjoy luxury.” Just: “Goodnight, world.”
The next morning we checked out, headed to the airport, flew back to Manila, and from there, started the long journey home—tired, proud, and forever changed by:
Cebu’s beauty
The bucket shower
And the van smell that will live in my memory rent-free forever 😅